The Men in My Life...

I am one blessed lady. I have the most amazing men in my life. With Sunday being Father's Day it has me reflecting on how blessed I am to have such wonderful men around me. My dad has always been there for me. I am so thankful to have such a generous, Godly, earthly father that showed me what I should look for in a husband and father for my children. I know this is not the situation for every person and it just reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for. Larry Wakley, thank you for being such a Godly man. Your prayers for me and our family are essential and I am so blessed to call you my dad!

My Father in-law, David Grothe. Thank you for raising such a wonderful son whom I can now call my husband and partner in life. I am thankful that you love me and love our children. You are so selfless and  honorable. I am a blessed woman to call you my other dad!

Daniel, I don't even know where to start but with "Thank You!" I have told you many times but one of the reasons I knew I wanted to marry you was because I knew you would be a wonderful father. You are more than I could have ever hoped for in a dad for our kids. They adore you and so do I. I am so glad that we are in this adventure together! I love you.

Daniel and I have both been blessed to have wonderful grandparents, uncles, and friends in our lives. Thank you for investing in us. Happy Father's Day.

I never knew you could love a little peanut so much when you only knew he/she existed about a month ago. A little over 5 weeks ago Daniel and I found out we were expecting. We were thrilled, a little nervous, but just so excited to be welcoming another little baby into the world in November. I imagined Lillian as a big sister to another sibling and Wilson growing into the role of big brother. I got excited thinking about the holidays with a newborn and having a baby in a totally different season of the year than my first two. So much to be looking forward to. At my first OB appointment we saw our little peanut and saw the heartbeat. The baby only measured about 5.5 weeks so we were told to come back in two weeks to finalize our due date. When we arrived at our appointment Daniel and I were waiting for our doctor and making guesses on what the due date would be for our little "guy." After we started the ultrasound the doctor got really quiet and then informed us that our little peanut's heart rate was very low (about 50-60 bpm), when it should be around 120 bpm. He informed us that all we could do is "wait and pray" for the next 8 days until our follow-up appointment. We tearfully got in the car and I spent about the next 36 hours in a tearful state of shock.

We informed some of our family and friends and immediately felt supported. Through this entire process Daniel and I have been reminded of what the Body of Christ is all about. We've had meals brought to us, arms wrapped around us, and flowers sent to us. Daniel and I have stood amazed at how wonderful our family and friends are here in the Springs and the ones praying for us from farther away. We've felt so loved. I am not very used to asking for help but it has been so good for me to stand aside and let others lift me up when I have felt weak.

This week we returned to our doctors office and discovered that our little peanut no longer had a heartbeat. We were very saddened by this news. Sometimes its easy to have "answers" for a situation when you are not the one going through it but it sure tests you when you are the one asking the questions. I have wondered why in the world I got pregnant in the first place. I've wondered if I did something wrong (which I know I couldn't have changed the outcome but it is still a question you ask yourself). I've mourned the fact that I have lost a bit of "innocence" when it comes to getting pregnant again; I imagine there will be a bit of a mental battle when it comes to my next pregnancy. Despite all these questions, I have come to a point of such peace and such trust. I have known that through this entire process, but it is nice when you can "feel" the trust and peace too. I know I don't have the answers and quite frankly, I am glad that I don't.

We've received lots of phone calls, texts, and messages sharing sympathy and prayers. Its meant the world to us. One text I received was from a dear friend who lost her husband in August. She has three elementary aged boys at home. Her text read "... I know a really good daddy in heaven who loves cuddling till you get there." Wow...how humbling that is. So often there are things in life that we can't begin to understand.

At the end of the day I am thankful. Not thankful for these circumstances, but thankful that I am so blessed with Lillian and Wilson who are so vibrant, healthy and full of love. My partner in life, Daniel Wilson Grothe who is an attentive husband and father, who leaves me notes all over the house, telling me how blessed he is to have me as his wife. I am one well taken care of woman!

Yesterday was one of those days where I missed my "home." My big brother coaches a basketball team and his team qualified for state this last week. I am sad because I can't just make a quick trip and run over to watch his team play. I know I could hop in a plane or a drive in my car and I am thankful for that but both of those options take a lot of effort and expense. During this thought process I was reminded that as long as I am living away from my parents and siblings any events in our lives that we want to participate in will take effort-let alone the opportunities to participate in normal, daily activities. To be honest it just made very sad. Then of course I started reminding myself up saying at least I have a wonderful family that I love and enjoy being around, I have my health, two wonderful children and an amazing husband. I then started to feel selfish for feeling this way. Sometimes when I start feeling this way I want to push all those emotions aside and bury them and tell myself I am being selfish, but then I am reminded that the Lord gave me emotions. He knows how I feel before I even give a voice to my thoughts. I am thankful for a Lord who I can trust. I am thankful for a husband that I can just dump all of this on and he then responds with "I'm sorry" "I love you" and prays with me. He didn't try to fix it or talk me out of how I am feeling.

I woke up this morning feeling better, more composed but the feelings are present and raw-but I am thankful! Thankful that I have an amazing husband! I love sharing the adventures of this life with him!

My two darling children

My Family:Parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews, and amazing friends!

I am so blessed!

Our Weekend

So we did it! We took our first trip away together since having children. The kids had a blast while we were gone and so did we! I am going to give a detailed rundown of the weekend mainly for Daniel and I have for the future. Feel free to read it but some of the random details you may find rather boring.

Saturday: We had a nice morning together as a family. We spent the morning enjoying being together while packing, cleaning, etc. Around 11am we took the kids over to the Williams house. They are kind of surrogate grandparents to Lillian and Wilson. The kids were very excited when we arrived. Daniel and I sat and visited with JC and Dianne for awhile over a cup of coffee and some pastries. Around 11:30 we decide we would head north (in hopes of getting on an earlier flight). We prayed together and sad goodbye to the kids, at which time I was trying very hard to hold back my tears. I didn't want Lillian or Wilson to see me sad prior to our departure. After lots of hugs and kisses, byes and we love yous, Daniel and I hopped in the car, at that point my tears fell. I dried them up quickly but they were definitely present. Daniel and I had a wonderful drive to the airport. During our drive we both had moments of pointing out the trains to each other and other random landmarks on the outside of the vehicle only to remember that we didn't have any small children in the car with us. We both giggled.

Once we arrived at the airport we enjoyed a nice leisurely stroll to security. When we got to our gate we saw that our plane was delayed by 25 minutes so we jumped on the earlier flight at the last minute. I enjoyed a TCBY yogurt all to myself as my lunch while on the plane. I read the entire plane ride! It was so nice. I have not been able to do that since having kids and I forgot how nice it was to just open my book and read. I still read a lot but it is usually in the evening when I am fighting my eyes to stay open for one more paragraph before I give in a go to sleep.

We got to LA-picked up our rental car (white Dodge Journey) and went and checked in at our hotel. It was a Courtyard by Marriot in Century City. We then returned to the airport to pick up our luggage that was on our original flight and then head to Santa Monica to find some food. Daniel's boss has a brother who lives in Santa Monica so he told us to go to Montana Avenue. That all of the locals headed there to eat. We found a darling little cafe with white twinkly lights called Cafe Montana. We enjoyed our Chicken Marsala and quiet conversation. It was even a treat to be eating dinner after 7pm because most of the time we are home putting kids in bed around this time.

After our quaint dinner we drove over to Hollywood and met the rest of the Gungor band at the house they were staying at. We visited and discussed what the next day would entail.

Sunday:

We woke up early and headed to Angelus Temple in downtown LA. This is the church that is connected with the LA Dream Center  (www.dreamcenter.org). The Sunday service was featuring several different people that were up Grammy Awards. It was a wonderful morning and lots of great music. Daniel was thrilled to spend some time with Kirk Whalum. He is a Grammy winning saxophonist who ran the Sunday service.

 Getting ready to head to church

 Kurk Whalum

 Kurk Whalum and Lalah Hathaway

 Gungor

Sinbad introducing Isreal Houghton

Isreal Houghton and Michael Gungor

 Isreal Houghton and Kurk Whalum

Us


After church it was time to hurry up and get dressed for the Grammy Awards. Daniel and I had driven our car so he raced out and grabbed our clothes and we changed in a back room at the church.

Michael Gungor getting his finishing touches

My hot date

All dressed and ready to go

You can not see my shoes in any of the pics...so here is a picture! Thank you Something New Boutique! I love my new shoes!

My clutch...thanks to my BOBBFF Kristin Sharpe!

We had a VIP parking pass so Daniel and I jumped into our rental car and headed to the Staples Center. 

We were not allowed to take cameras into the events so we left ours at home. We had to make do with our cell phones (both of which had very low battery power left). When arriving at the show we were greeted with food.

                                                     Our tickets, parking pass, program

Greeted with lots of food and drinks

 We sat and enjoyed the Pre-telecast show-which opened with a song played by Esperanza Spalding (who later won best new artist) and Bobby McFerrin. The drummer from The Roots also sat down right in front of us. Daniel had fun with that. Gungor did not received any Grammy awards that night and we were all a bit disappointed. 

Here is the link to the opening act

Bobby McFerrin & Esperanza Spalding jam at the 53rd GRAMMY Pre-Tel

www.youtube.com

What better to do when you are bummed than to go eat??! That is what we did...we walked and ate and a little place across from the Staples Center with the rest of the band-until we headed back for the prime time show.

Now I have no more pictures from the night. We enjoyed the chance to be at The Grammy Awards but we were both really tired by this point. We had a blast but we both agreed that it would be a lot more fun if we could sit where John Mayer and Keith Urban get to sit. :) We are sooo glad we went and had a great time but if we are going to go again (and pay) we want to be up close! :) As far as seeing anyone "famous" that didn't really happen. All of the celebrities get sent in through separate entrances and have their own bathrooms. They really do not have to mix and mingle with us common folk at all! As Daniel and I returned to our car we laughed because the red carpet was set up right by where we parked-had we stayed at our car we probably would have seen a ton of people!

Monday: 

Daniel and I started our day by driving to Santa Monica Beach and eating at a cute little breakfast joint right off the beach. We then took a nice walk along the beach. 

After that we hit up the Santa Monica Goodwill and I scored a darling purse.

 We headed back to our hotel and took a nap...I never take naps and this was such a treat! We then hit up a sushi joint (with pink rice for Valentine's Day)

We also enjoyed  a leisurely walk on Rodeo Drive.

We then found a theater and watched the movie The King's Speech. We both really enjoyed doing that. 

Here is a picture right outside the theater. It was in a very nice outdoor mall area.

Lastly we met up with one of Daniel's dad's friends at a little restaurant in Beverly Hills. Daniel and I laughed because we felt like we were living an alternate life...here we are in the 90210 zip code enjoying a trio play that Michael Buble just produced their album. Daniel's dads friend was eating with Mrs. Mancini-the widow of the late, great, Henry Mancini-who has won the most Grammy awards of all-time at 20 total, Henry's daughter and son-in-law, as well as Phil Ramone who has won 15 Grammy awards himself. When we sat down to eat we saw that the minimum bill for that night was $90. Thankfully our waitress allowed us to eat just dessert (we later found out that Daniel's dad's friend purchased our food) Thanks so much Mitchell Moore!

Here is the website to the little lounge we hung out at: www.nicsbeverlyhills.com

Tuesday:

We slept in a bit and then walked around an outdoor mall and had breakfast. We came back and packed up and slowly worked our way to the airport. Our flight home was relaxing and peaceful. It was so great to see our kids and give them hugs. They did so great without us! We are so thankful to have wonderful family and friends who helped us out soooo much! We love you!